Welcome to transSIAmeeting, an open meeting of Survivors of Incest Anonymous. Our meeting is especially for survivors who are transgendered, genderqueer, guys in multiple systems or in general, or otherwise gendered in some way that makes it harder for them to feel safe in the survivor community. People of any gender are welcome. Since this is an open meeting, support people and other allies are also welcome. Let's open the meeting with a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer.
Please, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
We are a group of people who are guided by 12 suggested steps and 12 traditions. There are no dues or fees. Everything that is said here in the meeting must be held in strict confidence. The only requirement for membership in SIA is that you have, or suspect you might have, experienced incest and that you want to recover from it. (You can see SIA's definitions of incest and ritual abuse at those links.) If you are a newcomer to SIA, please tell us so we can welcome you.
Many twelve-step meetings have a "no crosstalk" policy, meaning that we do not evaluate each other's work, comment on what anyone else has said, or mention each other's names in our shares; we respect our own inside people and our members who are multiple; and we do not cross-talk, over-talk, or give advice. However, in most meetings there is time afterward to chat about things or ask for help. In this online meeting, the comments serve as that time when crosstalk is okay. If you do not want advice or comments on your share, please take a minute while you are posting to turn of comments by scrolling to the bottom, clicking on the pull-down menu next to "Comments" and setting it to "Disabled." And please respect others by not mentioning them in your regular shares (for example, saying "Like fairybluebird was saying...."). We also recommend that people lock their shares as "friends only"; this will ensure that only members of this community can read them. (The posts will be visible to the community's members, not to your personal journal's friends list.)
Adapted Twelve Steps of Surivors of Incest Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over the abuse, the effects of the abuse and that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a loving Higher Power, greater than ourselves, could restore hope, healing and sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a loving Higher Power, as we understood Her/Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, the abuse, and its effects on our lives. We have no more secrets.
5. Admitted to a loving Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being our strengths and weaknesses.
6. Were entirely ready to have a loving Higher Power help us remove all the debilitating consequences of the abuse and became willing to treat ourselves with respect, compassion and acceptance.
7. Humbly and honestly asked a loving Higher Power to remove the unhealthy and self-defeating consequences stemming from the abuse.
8. Made a list of all the people we may have harmed (of our own free will), especially ourselves and our inner child(ren), and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made amends to such persons wherever possible, except when to do so would result in physical, mental, emotional or spiritual harm to ourselves or others.
10. Continued to take responsibility for our own recovery and when we found ourselves behaving in patterns still dictated by the abuse, promptly admitted it. When we succeeded, we promptly enjoy it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a loving Higher Power as we understood Her/Him, asking only for knowledge of Her/His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other survivors and to practice these principles in all our endeavors.
The Twelve Traditions
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends on SIA unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one authority -- a loving God as S/He may express her/himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for membership is that you are a victim of child sexual abuse and that you desire to recover from it.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting another group or SIA as a whole.
5. Each SIA group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to the incest survivor who still suffers.
6. Our SIA group ought never to endorse, finance or lend the SIA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property or prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
7. SIA strives to be fully self-supporting and will not accept contributions that compromise SIA's autonomy or mission.
8. SIA work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. SIA as such ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Survivors of Incest Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SIA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and television.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Our seventh tradition says we are self-supporting through our own voluntary contributions. We do not have much of an overhead for this meeting, but we do need to support Livejournal by paying for our account and support SIA as a whole by passing on whatever money we do not need so that we have this fellowship to be a part of! Please try to toss a dollar or two into the paypal basket (appearing here soon) whenever you can; the treasurer will post a weekly reminder.
The Promises of SIA
As a Result of Working the Twelve Steps: THE PROMISES
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will come to acknowledge the past and its effects on our lives.
We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace.
No matter how much we have behaved in patterns dictated by the abuse, we will see how sharing our experiences can benefit others.
Feelings of worthlessness, panic, and helplessness will disappear.
We will let go of self-hating and gain self-esteem.
We will develop healthy relationships with ourselves and others.
Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will learn to protect ourselves from being revictimized. As a result, fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will suddenly realize that a loving spiritual source is doing for us what we could not do alone.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Don't Give Up Before Your Miracles.
(From pages 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Revised by group conscience.)